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User blog:IAmBagel/Bagel Reviews: Dick Figures: The Movie
'''NOTE: '''I heard there were wild spoilers in these woods. Be careful! You might be thinking ''"Dafuq is Dick Figures, Bagel? It sounds like a gay porno." ''Well, Dick Figures isn't porn. And I'm not gay. It's about these two stick figures named Red and Blue. Red is an abnoxius awesome asshole who is often dragging his friend Blue into odd situations and stuff. I think the show is really funny, but it's humor can get somwhat repetitive at points. It started back in 2010 and it's one of YouTube's most viewed series. Due to the success, the creators of Dick Figures decided that a film version should be made, with the budget coming from fan donations using KickStarter in 2012. After raising about $313,000 dollars, they started making the film. The film came out September 17 and...it costed money. Good thing I had my iTunes giftcard. Anyways, I watched it and...it's AWESOMETACULAR! (Lol Jermey Jahns refference.) The Plot! Anyways, the film starts out with Blue's (and the other main character's) first day of kindergarten. Blue is then caught on the 5th grader's playground, and is beat up as a result. When suddenly, an asteroi-err...an ASS-teroid (You won't get that joke if you didn't see the movie) appears and crashes into the bullies. Inside the asteroid is Red, as he proceed to beat the crap out of the bullies. Blue then thanks Red and promises that he'll always be his friend. We cut to 20 years later (Where the series takes place), where Blue lies to his girlfriend Pink, saying that he will get her the greatest gift of all time. Blue tells his problem to Red, as they proceed to go the Raccoon's store (The Raccoon is this japanese Raccoon who has this dark and troubled past) and see if the Raccoon has anything. The Raccoon then proceed to tell a story about "The Greatest Sword of Destiny", and how he used it to defeat Lord Takagami and his evil demon ninja army..while accidentally destroying half of Japan, causing him to be shunned and forced to move to America. The Raccoon gives the two a map to The Greatest Sword of Destiny and he tells Blue that if he gets him The Greatest Sword of Destiny, he will give Blue a gift for Pink. After an argument about Blue being a pussy, Red and Blue decide to go find the sword. They go onto a boat full of boobs and beer called the Booze Cruise, which is heading to Japan, where Red and Blue need to go to find the sword. They eventually end up in Japan and find a resturant owned by the Raccoon's son. The Raccoon's son tells the two where to find the sword, which is in a temple. They enter the temple...only to find the handle of the sword. Red decides to float randomly again and finds a map..which is literally on the floor to the other pieces of the sword. However, due to Blue removing the handle of the sword, Lord Takagami and his army is unleashed, and chase Red and Blue. After a chase sequence, Red and Blue end up in a small boat in the middle of the ocean. After a discussing, Red reveals that he only saved Blue's life back in kindergarten to impress girls, and that they were never really friends. After a fight, their boat breaks and are swept away by the waves. The two later wake up on a deserted island..and Red accidentally sets it on fire. They are saved by an airplane flown by a pilot called Captain Major Lieutenant Crookygri, who is alcohol blind. Crookygrin is actually looking for Red and Blue and attempting to stop them (Probably because he knows they're going to give it to the Raccoon). Red and Blue disguise themsleves by saying their names are Tom and Tom. After fighting off more demon ninjas, the plane crashes in Paris, which kills Crookygrin, who gives the two the location of the next part of the sword, located on La Tour Eiffel. They try to get information on La Tour Eiffel by asking some French people for information (While Red just has sex with one of them). They eventually encounter one of their friends, Lord Tourettes (A green stick figure who has tourettes syndrome) playing the accordian at a resturant. They ask him what La Tour Eiffel is, since Lord Tourettes can appearently speak French, and tells them that it is the Eiffel Tower. However, the French Police appear to be after Red and Blue, since the plane landed on a mime. Red tries to disguise as a crab...which ends badly and is partly eaten. The French police eventually realize that the crab is Red, as the three hotwire a car while the police go after them in a chase sequence. They eventually make it to the Eiffel Tower and find the second piece. They learn that the third piece is located in their hometown inside a mountain. They make it back to America, but Red is distracted by girls and boobs and bails on the quest, leaving Blue on his own. Meanwhile, Pink's birthday party is happening, and Pink is upset that Blue is not there. We then cut to an epic montage which ends in Lord Takagami capturing Blue. We then cut to the inside of the mountain, in which Lord Takagami steals the the sword and gets the third piece. Lord Takagami then reveals his plan with the sword, which is to avenge all the people who died in the world, but killing more people is creating more people he needs to avenge so he can keep killing people forever. The demon ninjas then proceed to throw Blue into the lava pit, but Red and the Raccoon comes in just in time. Red apologizes to Blue and decides to become his friend again. The Raccoon then begins to fight Lord Takagami while Red and Blue battle the demon ninjas. The Raccoon then knocks Lord Takagami's mask off, which reveals that Lord Takagami is The Raccoon's father. The Raccoon cuts Lord Takagami's head off, causing him to fall into the lava pit, which fuses him with a large octopus called "Ocho Murte", which begins to attack the city. Red, Blue and The Raccoon find Ocho Murte attacking people at Pink's birthday party, but Ocho Muerte proceeds to eat the Raccoon. Ocho Murte captures Pink, and Blue slices the arm Pink was trapped in with the sword, but the arm falls, causing part of the ground and Blue to fall. Red quickly grabs onto Blue to prevent him from falling, causing him to drop the sword into Ocho Murte, and the sword appearently blows up Ocho Murte. Red then apologizes to Blue for being an asshole to Blue for 20 years. They then see that the Raccoon (and his wife, who was eaten by Ocho Murte when the Raccoon accidentally destroied Japan) have escaped from Ocho Murte. The Raccoon then tells Red an Blue that he tricked them into finding the sword for him, but he tells them that they found friendship instead. Blue and Pink reunite as The Raccoon's wife gives the two a lotus flower as a "Good Luck" gift for their relationship. Red and Blue then proceed to high-five eachother and the credits play. Overall, I enjoyed this plot. It was very exciting and actually emotional at points, which is weird coming from a series like Dick Figures. The Humor! HOLY FUDGEMUFFINS THIS MOVIE WAS HILARIOUS. I mean, seriously. I laughed a good majority of the jokes in this movie. The Animation! The animation is quite nice for a movie about stick figures. The backgrounds are very pretty to look at. The Music! The music is...AMAZING! So amazing that I had to buy the soundtrack, and I rarely EVER buy soundtracks. Overall This movie has everything I enjoyed about Dick Figures, but upgraded. It was hilarious and suprisingly emotional. I highly suggest you go buy this movie if you're a fan of the series. If you wanna see the movie but haven't seen any of the episodes, you should watch the episodes first. Some things will confuse you. Overall Grade: 9/10. Category:Blog posts